To Wear Or Not To Wear?

Here's a semi-age old question; what's hotter? Baring all, or covering up?

For the longest time, I've kind of envied those supermodels and people with supermodel-like bodies for being able to wear a bikini without a care in the world. Let's just say, I've always had to work hard to get that kind of stomach. I'm not fat, per se, but I'm not a supermodel. Otherwise...I would not be writing this and would be super modeling right now.

So I bought a bikini the other day. It was from Victoria's Secret (what is her secret, anyway?) and the model wearing it looked super-fabulous and tan. I'm pretty tan, so I've got that covered. But when I later looked at pictures of myself in the bikini, I was not satisfied. And I'm pretty picky about my body. I don't have the flattest stomach, nor the slimmest figure (whoever makes humans has gifted me with great child bearing hips), but I tend to run in the small sizes at department stores. So while the beach trip was fun and relaxing, those pictures left me with rather disappointing thoughts.

One day after that, for giggles, I decided to try on my mom's bathing suit that she also bought from the same place. It is a one-piece, firetruck red, swimsuit, with a halter neck and an open back. I tried it on.

WOW.

I'm not really a vain person, but I looked good. I almost couldn't imagine wearing that to the beach because it seemed too Baywatch. But why? It covered almost my whole body, yet it seemed - dare I say it - sexier than that secret bikini of Victoria's.

Now, I've learned in my 18 years on this earth that women wear skimpy clothes to look hotter to men. Not that it hasn't worked. Call them whatever you like, but skimpy clothed women have always gotten the attention of men. There could be various reasons for this:

1. They show more skin, therefore those parts of the female body that are usually reserved for the bedroom  are now free of charge. If it's free, why not look?

2. If a women is fit and toned, calf muscles, abs, and a perky upper shelf can definitely be a turn on.

3. It's...wild? Showing more skin shows that you're not afraid to showcase your body. Be proud of what your mama gave you! Confidence is always key to a man's heart.

4. Women love to tease. What's the point of wearing anything if all you're covering is your chest and down there (in extreme cases)? Because you're showing everything but not really. You can see it all but not really. April Fools!

I'm sure those who are skimpy clothes advocates can cook up more reasons. But the more I try to think up reasons, the more I realize that less clothes means showing more. Suddenly, I'm reminded of all those times I accidentally gave away the ending to a book or a movie to my best friend. She hated me every time I did that. Why? Because there was no fun in it for her anymore. There was no more personal satisfaction that she figured out the ending all by herself, that she figured out that at the end of Sixth Sense, Bruce Willis was...oops. Nevermind.

The mystery is gone, people! Everything is handed to you on a silver platter, with ribbons and ponies! Forget about actually wondering what that beautiful women over there looks like underneath all those clothes. She's basically spelled it out for you. You're not wondering anymore; you know. One look, and you know everything. Done. Finito. End of story.

That's not to say women should wear burlap sacks and paper bags over their heads. No. But next time you're thinking of choosing a strapless, skin-tight, dress, that is dangerously close to revealing your lovely buttocks, think again. It can still be skin-tight. Why else do you think Cat Woman is so hot? Her whole freakin' body is covered up, but it's still hot. You're still showing off your body, but not really at all. And by covering up in the right spots, you actually give off the image that you are actually toned in places where you're not. I mean, I do have to say; a woman who exudes sex appeal while wearing a long gown with sleeves is pretty awesome in my book. Let the men do some wondering! They don't do much else anyway.