As a first generation Indian-American, one topic that seems to pop up every so often is the idea of diversity - not in a general sense, like diversity in the workplace or diversity in our schools, but the diversity of our own social circles.
I won't hide from the fact that in the past 20 years, Indian and Chinese immigrants have taken over my small town in New Jersey. Granted, they were always there - with such a dense population in the homeland, they've got to go somewhere. But with the influx of Asian immigrants, one would think that our neighborhoods have become more diverse - and they have. From a outside viewpoint, a majority of the people you cross in your local supermarket, shopping mall, etc. will most probably not be speaking English.
But they're also probably not mingling with others that don't speak their language. Yes, I understand language barriers - some American citizens have a better grasp of English than others, and therefore are more free to mingle and chat with those outside of their own ethnicity. But the thing is, this still happens among those immigrants that do have a proper grasp of the English language. And that brings me back to us Indians.
Here is a fun fact I learned from my dad: As a young child, group birthday party packages at the ice rink, arcade, or your local Chuck E. Cheese usually had limits of 10-12 kids for a certain price, that went up proportionately with the number of kids attending. That meant, as a parent, you were inclined to prioritize, pushing family friends to the top of the list. As an Indian-American who is part of a vast community of fellow Indians in my neighborhood, I know for a fact that inviting all your family friends alone would include much more than 10-12 children. So depending on how parents saw their child's birthday party - whether as a social gathering for the adults, or as a social gathering for their children - the ratio of school friends to family friends would vary.
When I was young, I remember having birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese that included a majority of school friends, with a couple of family friends. Now, I see the complete opposite. Don't get me wrong, it's completely fine to want to invite family friends first - I'm not a parent, but I'm at an age where I understand the need for someone familiar to talk to while the young'uns run around. But what does that mean for your child growing up, and how will it affect their social circles as an adult?
I see a spectrum of possibilities. On one hand, I see children growing up in an Indian household, mixing with Indian children as a child, growing up among other Indian teenagers, and forming lasting friendships with mostly Indians for life. On the other hand, I see children growing up in an Indian household, mixing with a variety of children as a child, growing up among a variety of teenagers, and forming lasting friendships with a diverse group of people for life.
Personally, I don't like the first option. In this option, I also see people (and personal friends of mine) say things like, "I didn't join that sorority because there were too many white people in it." That friend then went on to join a South Asian sorority.
Um, what?
We are diverse as a society, but as individuals, we will never be that diverse, because human nature dictates that we form bonds will people that are similar to us. But for those that never break the bonds of homogeneity, I strongly feel that they're missing something, because people of the same ethnicity or background will tend to have the same tastes and values. So how can they ever hope to learn something different?
We are influenced most by our friends and those we encounter in school and the workplace, which means that those with an American education and career will most definitely mix with people of a different culture/race/background throughout their lives. But at the end of the day, it's our decision who we form actual friendships with, and if you've grown up in a homogeneous world, that will play a huge part in who you decide to form these bonds with.
I will repeat again that I am a first generation Indian-American. So what I'm seeing in my generation is the product of Indian immigrants making a world for themselves among their own kind. As a first-generation, I already have close childhood friends that are not from my culture. So my family friends won't be what it used to be - people who speak your language or come from your culture. But for many others, it will continue to be that way, because of the way they are choosing to live now.
I have complete respect for my culture, and in no way am I rejecting where I came from. But at the same time, I just worry about those around me who are, in a way, holding onto it for dear life.
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