Don't Forget To Clean Your [Insert Body Part Here]!

Is it just me, are there way too many things to take care of on our body? I don't mean to sound disgusting or un-hygienic, but I feel like the number of things to take care of has gone up ten-fold since we were put on this earth. Make that 1 million-fold.

Body care.

Hair care.

Ear care.

Face care.

Hand care.

Foot care.

Eye care.

Nail care.

Teeth care.

Health care.

Let's dig a little deeper, shall we?

Eyelash care.

Cuticle care.

Skin-around-your-eyes care.

Scalp care.

Lips care.

Gums care.

Behind-your-ears care.

Down-there care.

Eyebrow care.

Upper lip care.

Bone care.

Heart care.

Lungs care.

Kidneys care.

Muscle care.

Fat care.

Blood care.

Overall-body-equilibrium care.

Brain care.

The list goes on, and on, and...on. And for every part of the body we need to take care of, there are at least 200 different kinds of treatments for it. Creams, lotions, massages, exercises, gels, pills, tablets, diets, washes, the whole nine yards.

You think you got everything covered? I bet you missed a spot. Actually, I bet you missed hundreds of spots. Because somebody up there has a weird sense of humor and has made us into obsessive compulsive cleaning ladies, eternally doomed to find new places to clean, wash, tone, and scrub. I'm reminded of those moments working as a retail store sales associate, constantly folding and refolding clothes, watching customers blatantly mess up the pile of t-shirts I just organized, in front of me. Seriously? I just cleaned that. Now I have to do it again?
And what the hell is ear cream?
I don't want to sound disgusting. Of course I regularly shower, scrub, exercise, and generally clean my myself. There are obviously health benefits to doing so, and I get it. I guess it plays into what my dad always tells me (because I'm notorious for losing/breaking things I own):
"If it's yours, and you care about it, you take care of it. It's your responsibility."
I care about myself. Of course I want to look good, feel good. But this was definitely not in my job description, this constant paranoia about making sure my nails don't get too long, or that my legs are always shaved and smooth (and getting goosebumps on a cold day doesn't help me either). Remember when mom used to repeatedly tell you to clean underneath your nails when washing ? Now she yells at your for not moisturizing your hands, or not properly pushing back your cuticles. After all, keeping your cuticles clean keeps...the doctor away? What?
I have no answer to this, unfortunately. Unless our culture changes, or our bodies change to stop doing yucky stuff, or our health stops suffering from lack of care, we will forever be cleaning ladies. And none of those are ever going to change drastically, so here's to your supercilium. I hope it stays minty fresh at all times.
Ten points to the person who knows what that even is.